Tuesday, 25 May 2010

My personal map of Close Encounters with Sexual Violence

(Warning this might make for uncomfortable reading)

I was wondering why I had low self esteem…

My Best Friend was raped at school. Her mother was also raped as a girl.

My other BF was molested by a gardener as a small child.

My other BF’s sister was raped while on holiday.

My mum’s BF was molested and beaten as a child. Her daughter was gang raped before she left school and abused by her nephew. Her other daughter became a prostitute and drug addict.

My friend at school was raped by older boys - she was twelve years old.

My ex-landlord’s friend’s husband had an affair with her BF and killed her and violated her post mortem.

Another of my landlords thought it was OK to walk around in only a t-shirt and play with himself while talking to the new tenants - all girls who didn’t stay long living in the spare rooms of his house.

My other BF was raped by old men when she was a child. Her nephew was prostituted and raped by a paedophile.

My other friend was molested as a baby, beaten by her father and neglected by her mother.

My ex-girlfriend was molested by her brother.

My great aunt was raped by her uncle. My Nan was almost molested by the same uncle. He had raped a woman on tour of duty in South Africa and when her son came to protect her, my Nan’s uncle threw his boot at him and killed her son. My Nan’s mum and aunt knew about him but tolerated it because he helped ‘pay the rent’. My Nan was sexually assaulted by the school caretaker – she left school as soon as she could at 13years old.

I was groped in a nightclub (who hasn’t been?) I was raped by a so called friend while in the middle of a campsite in the early hours of the morning. The next time I saw him he smiled and waved. I was raped by another friend I put up in my room for a few days because he was down on his luck. I was raped by two guys I met who wanted to ‘help’ me when I was in difficult situations. I was sold out while travelling by two so called ‘friends’ I met whom I ‘trusted’. People ask me why I don’t remember my childhood. I tell them I don’t know why I don’t remember my childhood because I don’t remember it.

I had to write all this down because it was driving me nuts.

If you think porn is OK, ask yourself the question what else does it say is OK? If you think prostitution is a chosen profession ask yourself why someone’s esteem would be so high that they would ‘choose’ to get ****** by complete strangers who pay to be able to do whatever they want.

If you think that ‘it’ happens because she was ‘gagging’ for it. I am telling you that she wasn’t, isn’t and won’t ever be. She is not ‘gagging’ for it – she is gagged. Her self-respect as a woman has been so trampled by our culture that she can no longer speak or decide what is and isn’t ‘OK’ until a long time after it’s already happened and maybe never.

It is not shameful to be a woman who is silent. It is shameful to be a man who doesn't say anything.

As a culture our self esteem is so low, we are sinking and even the sea is rising to cover us. Our culture is one of supply and demand. To answer the question ‘Why is human -trafficking so high?’ ask yourself ‘Who do you know that’s buying and creating the demand?’

Probably you know someone and if you do what will you do about it?
Only one abuser on this list has been convicted and sentenced …

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